Where You Put Your Energy, Life Follows: How to Shift Patterns & Reclaim Your Power

There is a version of you waiting on the other side of the conversations you are avoiding.

There is a life that feels lighter, relationships that don’t take so much effort, and a version of you that moves through the world with more ease. But to step into it, you have to stop feeding the energy of struggle.

We think communication is about words, but it isn’t. It’s about energy—how we hold it, how we move it, how we leak it.

It’s in the breath we forget to take before we speak.

It’s in the way our shoulders tighten when we brace for conflict.

It’s in the way our throat closes when we silence what we really mean to say.

Before words ever reach the air, the body has already spoken. And if we don’t listen to it, we will keep repeating the same conversations, the same misunderstandings, the same patterns, wondering why things never change.

The Body Knows First

Pay attention. Not to the words. Not to the analysis. Not to the endless loops of thoughts trying to solve what can only be felt.

Pay attention to the body.

When something isn’t right, you don’t need an explanation—you already feel the weight of it.

When something is aligned, you don’t need to convince yourself—you already feel the pull.

If you want to know the truth of a relationship, don’t look at what’s being said.

Look at how your body responds when they walk into the room.

If your chest tightens, if your stomach knots, if your hands fidget—your energy is resisting something. Maybe it’s the unspoken words between you. Maybe it’s the part of yourself you silence to keep the peace.

If your breath deepens, if your muscles soften, if your heart space expands—your energy is at ease. There is no force, no tension, no need to shrink yourself to be understood.

Your body is a tuning fork. It will tell you everything you need to know.

A Moment of Choice

You are in a conversation.

Maybe with a lover. Maybe with a friend. Maybe with yourself.

There is a moment—so brief you could miss it—

where your body reacts before your mind does.

A tightening in the throat.

A pull in the stomach.

A hesitation, so small it almost seems like nothing.

But it is everything.

It is the body speaking.

It is energy asking: Are you about to repeat an old pattern, or will you choose something new?

The Patterns Beneath the Surface (Subconscious Programming)

Most of us aren’t consciously choosing struggle.

We don’t wake up and decide:

“Today, I will brace for conflict. Today, I will withhold my truth. Today, I will speak from fear instead of love.”

But we do it anyway.

Not because we want to—

but because we are programmed to.

Our subconscious holds every past experience, every wound, every belief about love, trust, and safety.

And it directs our energy without us even realizing it.

• If we were taught that love requires effort, we will keep putting energy into struggle.

• If we were shown that honesty leads to rejection, we will keep swallowing our truth.

• If we were conditioned to expect loss, we will brace for endings instead of opening to presence.

The patterns we think we are “stuck in” are just programs running in the background.

And the moment we see them—truly see them—is the moment we can rewrite them.

This is where the reckoning begins.

The Reckoning: The Moment You Cannot Unsee

There is a moment in every conversation, in every relationship, in every lifetime

where you realize—

You are not just living this. You are choosing it.

If your relationships are heavy,

if your body braces for impact before you even speak,

if your words always taste like endings—

this is not just happening to you.

You are participating in it.

You are feeding energy into the very things you say you don’t want.

You are reinforcing the patterns you wish would disappear.

You are standing at the crossroads, pretending there is no choice.

But there is always a choice.

And that is the most terrifying, liberating truth of all.

The Energy of the Words We Choose

Where we put our energy, life grows.

And the way we speak is where we put our energy in motion.

There is a difference between speaking from pain and speaking through it.

There is a difference between reacting and responding—between policing and holding energy.

There is a difference between words that defend and words that expand.

If we react, we try to control.

We correct, we police, we brace for impact before anything has even been said.

We tighten the energy instead of allowing it to shift.

If we respond, we create space.

We listen, we soften, we move from presence instead of old wounds.

We allow the energy to unfold in a way that fosters connection instead of resistance.

If you keep speaking from struggle, your relationships will always require it.

If you keep reinforcing fear, love will never feel safe.

If you keep expecting endings, you will keep manifesting them.

We do not realize how much power we have in the space between feeling and speaking. In that pause, there is a choice:

To breathe before responding.

To soften before assuming.

To shift before repeating what no longer serves us.

Pause here. Take a breath.

Notice your body. Notice the energy in you.

Where are you holding tension? Where is ease already present?

If you were about to speak, what would your body be communicating before the words even left your lips?

We can place our energy into defensiveness, or we can place it into understanding.

We can place it into fear, or we can place it into trust.

We can place it into the past, or we can place it into the life that is waiting for us.

The conversation we are having with others is always, in some way, the conversation we are having with ourselves.

If you want a new experience, change the energy you bring to it.

The Life That Is Waiting For You

Breathe.

There is another version of you waiting.

A you who speaks from wisdom, not wounds.

A you who moves from ease, not fear.

A you who has already learned that love, connection, and clarity

were never things to be forced—

only things to be allowed.

They are already here.

Already within you.

Already waiting for you to claim them.

Listen to the silence right now.

Not the noise in your head. Not the words on the page.

Just the space between them.

Because that’s where the shift happens.

That’s where you choose.

You’ve always had the choice.

Now, you are awake enough to see it.

Banksy